Friday, 22 August 2014

Running From Love

On Sunday I am leaving Germany for good. I leave behind my boyfriend and the many friends and memories I have made this year. I can't imagine my life anywhere else, but it's time to go. I have no idea how to say goodbye to the man I have loved here. He has seen the highs and lows of my experience as an au pair. He has held my hand through the hard times, traveled with me, introduced me to the special people in his life. He has fed, sheltered and supported me in every way. I will never be able to repay or thank him enough. 

My heart is breaking. I am scared I am making the wrong decision. Why am I running from love? The answer for me is I have to. I can't live my life in a way that would not fully satisfy me for just one person, when that person is not me. Maybe that's selfish. But right now that's the choice we've made together. We don't know what the future holds, if our paths will one day cross again. It seems unlikely, but I know even if I never see him again. I won't forget nor regret falling in love so unexpectedly. It makes leaving even harder, but I wouldn't change my experience for the world. Loving without expectation and with uncertainty of the future is the most pure love I have both given and received. Every single day counts. 

Thursday, 21 August 2014

Reminder for Today

I think sometimes we could all use this reminder. I hate that my first instinct in some situations is to put down another person. I make a conscious effort not to do this, but sometimes I slip up. An example from recent times is leaving my host family early. I wanted to blame everything on my host parents and point out all their flaws. In reality I know I am nowhere near perfect. I am most defintely not the perfect au pair. And what's done is done. Putting them down doesn't make me a better person, in fact it probably produces quite the opposite. It doesn't change the situation, so I think in that experience,  it was best to keep my mouth closed altogether. 

Wednesday, 20 August 2014

Should I Run Five Races and a Half Marathon?

It's on my bucket list to run a 10km, half marathon or even full marathon. But I seriously need to work on my stamina first, especially after months abroad, with a grand total of two short runs the entire time. I got searching for races in Auckland for next year, and found the Auckland Run Series. It starts at the end of March and is six, 5km or 10km races, with the final race a half marathon. I am pretty keen on this idea, it forces me to train, and I will (hopefully) achieve my goal of running a half marathon. Maybe I will even get the courage to enter a full marathon! I guess one can always dream!

Calling all who have trained for races before, what are your top tips for running?

Tuesday, 19 August 2014


I love exploring Germany. Every city is so different. So after four months breathing no sea air, I thought it was about time to head north. Here are some of my favourite photos and experiences from Hamburg, a little trip I made by myself in June.

Check out this awesome underground station which changes colour!

The town hall of Hamburg is spectacular.

 As an ocean loving girl, I spent a heap of time at the port and on boats, making the most of the sea.

Look at the sweet lighthouse!

Even though it was quite windy, it was great to hang out on the beach for awhile.

Exploring the lovely suburb of Blankenese.

Hamburg is vastly different from inland, Stuttgart, but it's interesting in it's own way. I loved walking through the Elbe tunnel (it's underwater), visiting the fish market and just taking my time to explore the city.

See you again Hamburg.

First Run After Surgery

Went for my first run/jog after having surgery today. 4.66km. I didn't time it, just wanted to see how I would go without any pressure. I had to slow down quite a lot because my stomach was hurting a little. But overall I'm pleased. It's better than nothing and hey, I'll take what I can get.

I am always amazed at how much better I feel after some exercise. I was being a grumpy bum, but after being outside for less than an hour the frustration dissipated. Yay for endorphins!